That was one messed up class

Wednesday evening I thought I would checkout a new spin class. I’ve been to this instructor’s class before but it was a while ago. I was warned several times not to go, but I didn’t listen—sometimes you need to make your own mistakes in life to learn a lesson. All I could remember, she had an insane amount of energy with pretty good music and she didn’t put enough (if any) tension on her bike—no problem I would. 10 minutes into class I was thinking about my exit plan. Should I just leave, how should I leave or should I stick it out? I stuck it out only to be witness to the most F-ed up class I’VE EVER ATTENDED!!!

Reasons why:

#1
If you’re a guy, you might not mind this first grip, but I was the one in class so let’s precede…Every female in the class (including the instructor) was wearing the short booty shorts. You know the kind that is so short you can see cheeks. No wonder you hear women complaining about their seat hurting. All you have on is a thin piece of cotton that is barely covering your ass! I, on the other hand, felt strangely awkward being the only one in padded spandex shorts that went halfway down my thighs. Hell, I even had them pulled up from where they normally would fall!

#2
In other classes when the instructor says “turn up your resistance” you turn the dial a minimum 1/8 of a turn to maybe a full turn. Not this class, she kept telling us to turn up or down the resistance 10 to 15 full rotations! OK STOP…if you have to turn your resistance up 10-15 full rotations and you’re still in a seated position—you don’t have ANY resistance on in the first place! What’s the point? It’s like going downhill in your smallest gear. The very sturdy and durable bikes were moving from their location due to lack of tension they looked like they were going to take off.

#3
While we were turning our dials up and down—which, by the way, I kept at a reasonable climbing resistance—she had us do push-ups and jumps. If you’ve attended a class with me you will know that these two moves are on the top of my short ‘hate to do’ list. There is no benefit to push-ups. When was the last time you did a push-up on your bike outside? That’s right—NEVER! Jumps—I’ll do 4 or 8 counts since you might need to do them when you run out of gears during a uphill climb (or if you are a MTBer) but if you need to do 2 count jumps while you’re on your bike—you’re expending more energy then you should and should just sit you’re butt down and work your way up the hill.

#4
Outside, the talented riders can ride no-handed while zipping up their jacket, opening up a package, etc. I am not one of those talented riders—at least one hand at all times. The “no handed” trick can only be done while seated. During this crazy class the instructor had us stand—while spinning—and do some synchronized swimming moves with our hands. Again, I did not participate in this action.

Now…here comes the best part of the class…

#5
She had us take one foot out of the clips/cages. So far I’m in—this is a great way to focus on your less dominate leg, but then she said “now stand up” WTF? Oh hell no! I clipped back in and refused to participate. I wish I had a camera because this was so absurd and is hard to explain—I was in a full on giggle the entire time. I was picturing Matt and Bill’s reaction if they were in class with me. While only clipped-in with one foot she had the class stand up—causing most of your body weight to be transferred to the bars—and use the momentum and the strength of your arms to continue to peddle ONE LEGGED while standing.

A few times I caught the instructor looking at me—since I sat second row right in front of her and refused to go along with her shenanigans—and was not please with my participation. Although, I did my own thing I had a pretty good workout—I stayed in a high zone, sprinted several times in a high resistance and burned a ton of calories.

If your focus is not outdoor riding and just want to have fun maybe this particular class is for you, but as someone who attends several classed I would have to say there are far better ones out there that are just as fun.

The next morning I went to Chris’s class. She was not aware of the crazy class I went to the night before but by coincidence she said, “If your legs are rotating too fast and your bike is moving, you don’t have enough tension and are doing a disservice to your workout.” Later, “I don’t do push-ups because you would never do push-ups on your bike outside.” And another instructor said a week prior, “I don’t have you stand and go no handed because it will do more harm to your body then good.” AMEN!